what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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