Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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