Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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