her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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