the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
