On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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