did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Even my vagina gasped.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
