My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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