While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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