He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
