Welp...herpes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
