Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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