Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
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