Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Farmville is her only friend.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
