CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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