i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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