its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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