i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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