yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
