One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
