I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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