That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
40s are totally the cure
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
