I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
