great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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