just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
