It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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