Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
