just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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