There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
