he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
