Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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