I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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