Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
