I'm pants shitting drunk right now
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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