I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize