I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize