She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
