I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
