i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
