Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I checked into jail on foursquare
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
