dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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