On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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