i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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