I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
COCAINE IS GR8
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
