Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
