They should really pass out barf bags in church
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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