yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
there is puke in my bra ... again
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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