fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
