So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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