I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
