I cannot find my penis.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
