OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
