Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
