I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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