I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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