Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
