So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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