hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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