There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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